11. A Powerful Experience That I Will Always Remember
After many years of planning, I decided to undergo an ibogaine treatment in October 2016. I was no stranger to psychedelic or entheogenic plant medicines and had met a couple of people, including one well-known author, who had had ibogaine treatments. I did not seek ibogaine treatment for addictions, but rather for the psycho spiritual experience that ibogaine offers, apart from it's anti-addictive properties. I researched many different providers in many different countries before deciding to go with Ibogaine Thailand, mostly due to the glowing testimonials, not to mention that Thailand is a lot more accessible to me than Europe or Canada.
I was put through a fairly rigid screening process before I was accepted for treatment. This involved blood tests, an ECG and a detailed questionnaire. I later learned that these tests were vital as there had been deaths associated with ibogaine treatments, where the patients were not properly screened beforehand. The cause of death was always a preexisting condition, usually cardiac in nature.
After passing the pre-screening test, I was put on a limited diet for 3-5 days before the treatment commenced, and advised to avoid certain foods and medications, as well as alcohol and recreational drugs.
After arriving at the lovely resort that Sasha booked me into, my treatment began the next morning. I made sure to be up and well and truly awake before the treatment, and had a good swim in the ocean - which was a 5 minute walk from my resort.
After taking the medicine, which consisted of around 7 medium-sized capsules, I had a bit of a chat with Sasha, and waited for the medicine to take effect. This took about 45 minutes to an hour. The first visions I saw consisted of some vampire-like beings with very prominent fangs. There was nothing in the slightest bit frightening about them - they were just showing me who they were. There was a series of them, one appearing after the other, all displaying prominent fangs, but not exuding any type of threat. The visions then morphed into a series of ancient skulls and death masks - again, nothing frightening or threatening, merely certain beings showing me who they were - telling me that this was their space, but I was welcome there - they were happy and honoured to be there while my journey began. They were, I now realise, spiritual guides. After this had gone on for a while - you have no real concept of time passing while under the influence of ibogaine - the visions changed again, this time becoming a surrounding of mostly green fractals, in which a wormhole opened up and beckoned me. The colour and structure of the wormhole was entirely different to the surrounding fractals. I would enter the wormhole which would take me in, we would journey for a while, then it would deposit me in another fractal landscape where I would have to gain my bearings again. I would not get much of a chance to explore the new surroundings before the wormhole would take me in again - I did not have a choice in this. When the wormhole was ready to take me again, I had to go. This continued for some time. I was always peripherally aware of Sasha and his wife Fibbi constantly monitoring my blood pressure and occasionally giving me sips of water. The fractal hallucinations eventually faded away, and I entered the stage of self-reflection that is a common part of the ibogaine experience. This seemed to last for some time, but again, you have no real concept of the passing of time while the medicine is active. The next stage was dream-like - I was in outer space on the viewing bridge of a spacecraft with other journeyers and we were watching the construction of a series of enormous structures in space. We were not awestruck, rather we were discussing the construction dispassionately, as if we were engineers watching our creations become reality. I alternated between this dream-stage and the self-reflection stage for some time. The next image I recall most vividly was another dream-scene; this one was a Lord of the Rings-style battle where I was on the side that was not going so well. I had feigned death while waiting for one particularly brutal warlord to finish gloating over the enemies he had despatched, , but when I saw that he was too busy gloating I was able to rise from my position of feigned death, catch him by surprise, and behead him with a battleaxe. I remember being in and out of consciousness for some time, and then Sasha was telling it was 5 o'clock the next morning!
The next day was spent mostly dozing, reflecting, swimming in the pool, and making one trip outside for a massage. I was definitely still feeling the effects of the medicine, mostly the lack of motor coordination which is common. I had very little appetite. Sasha and Fibbi would visit me regularly throughout the day and night. One of the great after effects of the medicine was the visual trails that are most noticeable in low light - a great visual show that kept on giving for the next three nights. Appetite didn't return until the third day after the treatment. By the third day, I was feeling more relaxed than I had done in recent memory. I just felt completely well. The ibogaine gives everything an enormous boost. You just feel really good.
I know that I will do ibogaine again. I just hope that i am lucky enough to have Sasha and Fibbi there when I do. The care that I received was professional, respectful, empathetic and personal. If you are considering using this medicine, please look no further.